What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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