I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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