there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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