I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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