i need an iv and a liver transplant
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
