I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
