He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
