I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is it penis luge time yet?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
