strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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