covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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