Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
