I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
