Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
