What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
