Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
ttyl tear gas
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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