who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
