Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
