New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
