wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
