Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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