i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
