You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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