whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize