Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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