so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
