wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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