Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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