He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
