I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
