ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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