we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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