Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
