I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
