So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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