Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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