Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
