so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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