We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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