I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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