I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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