I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
