I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
