I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
FUCK WHALES
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
