she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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