Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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