In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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