it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
