Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
