I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
