Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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