THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
