ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize