they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
