I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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