Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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