I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
