Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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