Im at strip club and am horny
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I love having hate sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
