It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
