i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
