So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize