I wish my penis had an off switch
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
