Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
if i can run in heels then i can drive
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
