my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
