if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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