Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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