Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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