smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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