On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
