Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
