Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
