grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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