im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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