She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
