I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
