week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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