One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's not cheating when I paid for it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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