I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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